To infinity………..and beyond!

This is another one for all the special people in my life.

They say you never really know what you have until it’s gone. Well, sometimes you’re lucky enough to discover what’s been right in front of you all the while, and  choose to never let it go.

I have been blessed with some of the most amazing people in this world. That’s not to say that they’re perfect, or we never go through tough times; but no matter what we go through, I know they’re still somewhere around me.

Friendship and family are two of the most beautiful things in the world because they’re based on the strongest force in the universe:LOVE. When you have these, hang on tight because you’re in possession of priceless treasures.

There are many times when people let us down, and we feel like this whole relationships business isn’t really worth it.But I’ve found that if you’re patient, someone will come along and light up your world.

To all those who’ve stood beside me, who’ve shown me love and restored my faith in the world; for all the good times and bad, for the laughter and tears, in the sunshine and the rain; to my family, my best friend in the world, my rock, my ngothaz:-), my crew, and everyone out there that I hold near and dear, my message to you is this: I love you.

Cheers to the future-to infinity and beyond!



I’m not quite sure what the point of this post is. Before you stop reading and dismiss this as some ranting and raving by a semi-deranged blogger, let me make it clear that it sort of is. Sorry. But am pretty sure we’ll gain momentum as we go along. So come along with me on this journey into my mind.

April is over. It seems it just flew past and before I realized we were well into it, it was over. I had waited for it with so much enthusiasm after March decided to fail me. I think I may have had some super-high expectations for it that I didn’t really get to see through. That’s not to say however, that it was entirely bad.

It was pretty much a month of unlearning. Have you ever asked yourself why you’re the way you are?Why you do things a certain way?Why you’re more inclined to some things to others? Well…… try thinking about all that, then pressing Ctrl+Z, also known as the undo button. It’s pretty much resetting all the things that have been deeply ingrained in you from way back when, before you really had a say in what happened to you.

It’s, admittedly,  a confusing process, but if there’s one thing I am learning, it’s that confusion isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it takes moving from a place of not knowing, to get to a place of knowing. Sometimes we have  to fail before we can succeed. Sometimes we need to relinquish control of our lives to finally be in charge of our destiny.

Basically, this is step one: dissecting the once solid life we thought we had, scrutinizing it, and then, maybe then we can move to step two-putting all the pieces back together. It may seem pointless, messy even, to do all this when we can just stick to the whole form and continue as is. But it’s in this process of taking apart that we finally discover what lies inside. And it’s with this understanding that life finally makes sense.

And those, ladies and gentlemen, were my April musings. More to come in May. Happy new month!


Life is very interesting.Many have over the years tried to define it or compare it to something that’s easier for the human mind to grasp, but in the end it still remains an enigma.I think one of the greatest mysteries of life is life itself.
That being said, I find it very intriguing to observe how different people deal with the various aspects of life.When something really exciting happens, there are those that’ll instantaneously be transformed into a ball of energy, there are those that’ll cry and there are those that won’t have any outward joyous display.Even more interesting than our joyous reactions is how we deal with problems.
I think there comes a point in all our lives where we have to sit back and ask ourselves “What’s the point?” I have found that to be a somewhat difficult question to answer. It requires one to really scrutinize the various aspects of life and be completely honest with oneself. We have perfected the art of deception to the point where we begin to convince ourselves that things aren’t as bad as they seem.
Very few of us would willingly take this journey of self-discovery. It usually takes some life-changing events to set us off. After that we have a few choices to make. Think of it like a winding road on a hill. You come to a fork in the road.One part of it is a steep path that takes you up the hill. The other is a continuation of the road you’ve been on that’ll take you round the same way you came.This road seems less hazardous than the other as it lies within our comfort zone.The first road presents with many difficulties.It’s the ‘road less travelled’.But the thing is, if we take this path, we move on up to the next level in life.We get to see the beautiful scenery from the top of the hill.We get to experience a sense of newness and revitalisation. But sadly, most of the time we take the 2nd road, the easier road, and we keep going round in circles.
As I embark on this journey, I hope I won’t be alone.I hope to find you there too so we can enjoy the bright new day together.

White out for life

What if we had a correction pen for life? That’s the question a friend of mine recently asked me. My initial response was obviously: “That would be awesome!” But would it really?

Life is an enigma of sorts to me. Just when you think you have it all figured out it throws you a curve-ball you can’t really manipulate to your favour. We all have our good days and our bad days. It’s those bad days that we’d so desperately want to turn around. I can’t count the number of times I’ve wished I could turn back time and do some things differently. I think it’s in our human nature to want what we can’t have or to think that the alternative is better than our reality.

But if I really think about it, everything I’ve gone through in life has brought me to this moment in time and made me who I am. Every experience, good or bad, was God’s way of producing my character. If I hadn’t “failed” my primary exams, I wouldn’t have wound up in the high school I did. If I hadn’t gone there I wouldn’t have discovered myself as I did or met the most amazing best friend anyone could ask for. If I had gotten my dream of leaving the country after high school, I wouldn’t have gotten to meet some people who have changed the course of my life. If I hadn’t experienced rejection and heartache, I never would have appreciated the gift of having someone who genuinely cares.

At the end of the day, I believe that all things work together for good; that nothing happens by chance or out of turn; that even the parts of our story that we’d rather do without fit perfectly into the bigger picture to produce a beautiful portrait.

So in answer to the question : I wouldn’t use it because my story needs those little imperfections to make it a breathtaking work of art.

For YOu

Many are times we hear the statement “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”. There are many variations to this but they all point to the fact that we never really appreciate the treasures that God places before us until we can no longer behold their beauty.

The truth is, love is the single most important thing in life. It’s love that brings together people who are as different as night and day and keeps them as one. It’s love that helps people to forgive each other after the have hurt each other in unthinkable ways. It’s love(with some hormonal help) that turns the cries of the pain of childbirth into tears of joy at finally holding your new-born child. Love keeps a mother on bended knees praying for a son that everyone else believes to be too far gone.

Who better to show us love than He who gave His all for us. God gave us His precious Son to die in our stead, to suffer that we might be free. The Bible says that greater love has none than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.This is what Jesus did and I daresay that the same is expected of us.I’m not alluding that we should go around catching explosives before they hit those we love(although that would definitely be a sight to behold).

I’m talking about pure sacrificial love.The kind that would lead you to walk away from someone you love just so they can be happy. I believe that if we all had love many of the evils in the world would be unheard of. People would seek the greater good of their neighbours just because. Wars would cease. Poverty would be long gone. Families would  thrive. The world would be a much happier place. Imagine with me for a moment what that would look like because I have a feeling that’s the stuff that paradise is made of.

We don’t have much control over what others do but we have each been given free will. We have a choice to make. We can either go on with life as is or we could try and make a difference. If we choose to love unconditionally and see the bigger picture instead of focusing on each others faults, there will be a paradigm shift that will revolutionize the way we live. You may call this wishful thinking, but I call it hope. Life means nothing without hope.

This is dedicated to all my loved ones;my family, my friends, but most of all to my friends who are my family. We may not be of the same blood but the bond that holds us together puts the blood-is-thicker-than-water saying to shame.Thank you for loving me inspite of myself and for helping me find a place in the world, in your life.



What do you do when you feel like there is no more hope?

What do you do when all you can feel is pain?

What do you do when your heart breaks into so many pieces that there’s nothing left to hold?

Answer: I don’t know either.

I think, however, that all we can really do is go on

Crying could help let off a load but it won’t heal the hurt

Remaining in despair only leads to more pain than anyone should be allowed to bear

Blaming and hating may bring temporary relief but they’re no match for the looming slump.

At the end of the day we realize something:

The sun still rises bright and early

The trees still sway with the wind

The sky is still blue and breathtakingly beautiful

Life still goes on.

So instead of wallowing in self-pity

Instead of asking God why

I choose to be happy

I will no longer be a slave to misery

I will embrace the love of God that never fails me

Because when all is said and done

I am His and He is mine

Nothing and no-one can take that from me.

So as I sleep and as I rise

I will look upon all the good things in my life

And I shall dwell no more on the have-nots

For though I may not have the one thing I thought I wanted

I have so much more than I could have ever hoped for.

The Art of Growing Up

We all remember the group Boys II Men, or at least those of us who listened to music in the 90s do. They were a phenomenal group and ladies everywhere used to get all warm and fuzzy inside listening to them. But my focus is sadly not on their music but on their name; so simple yet so profound. It represents a sort of coming of age; a transition from one stage to the next; it represents the art of growing up.

Different societies have their own unique ways of marking that important stage in life when a boy becomes a man. In Africa, the most prevalent one is, of course, circumcision. We also have other forms but I tend to think that nearly all of them are centered on enduring pain or hardships of some sort. Think about it: you’re either cut, have your teeth knocked out, tortured or, one of the worst in my opinion, stung for 10 minutes by bullet ants that are reputed to have the most painful sting in the insect world.

In traditional African society, these ceremonies were accompanied by certain teachings given by respected elders in the community. This part has obviously been lost in the throes of modernization.As a result, we have boys with physical markings of a man but nothing more.No wonder we have so many ‘man-boys’. By all appearances, they are full grown men – broad chested, deep-voiced, tall men – with good jobs, good cars and a nice house, but they don’t know the first thing about being a man.

Before I am accused of being a feminist I will clearly state that there are also some clueless women out there but they are vastly outnumbered by their male counterparts. It’s sad living in a society where women, or more specifically, mothers, have to take on both masculine and feminine roles.

I believe that one of the greatest hallmarks of maturity is learning how to be responsible.  In life, we tend to make many mistakes but as we grow up we ought to learn to acknowledge these mistakes and make an effort to right them, as opposed to the juvenile option of denial or casting blame.

Let’s take a classic example of present-day relationships. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy goes after girl. Boy gets girl. Boy uses girl. Boy leaves girl. In short, said guy has feelings, has a fling then flees. This sort of behavior is expected of teenage boys who don’t really know what they want out of life, much less out of relationships. But when this spills over to grown ass men who run around with their pants round their ankles with the famous “it wasn’t me” line, I think we might have a problem.

I’m not saying that all men out there are like this. There are still some really nice guys out there who have my stamp of approval. I just wish there were more of them. As with most problems in life this needs to be dealt with from the root up. I long for the day when boys will be boys and men will be men; when fathers will be there for their children and be the leader that they dearly crave; when there will no longer be rejected babies and single mothers; when there will finally be a smooth transition from boys to men.

I found this on my friend’s TL and it’s one of the most mind-blowing spoken word pieces I’ve come across so WATCH IT———-

When I Became a Man spoken word video. To challenge and inspire men to put the games away, and be the powerful men of God he’s called us to be. Follow me as …


Fresh Start

It’s a new year!!!

I know that’s stating the obvious but it feels good just to remind myself. It’s like someone has scraped off everything else and given me a clean slate. The beauty of it is that I can do whatever I want with it. I can’t really do much about 2011-it came and went;there were good times and bad;but that’s all in the past. It’s a closed chapter that belongs in the category of ‘the irreversibles’ and there’s little else I can do but reflect on it.

There’s something really beautiful about the 2nd. Sadly this isn’t the part where I spew forth various biblical references that allude to its religious significance.I don’t think there are that many but I just love the 2nd.I’m not just saying this because I was born on the 2nd of October but there’s just something refreshingly beautiful about it. It doesn’t bear the pressure of being first yet it still holds the allure of being right at the top.

This year has been highly anticipated the world over for various reasons. For some it signifies the start of something new. For this nation, it’s an election year we’re not quite sure what to feel about. For others, it is presumably the year when the world will come to an end(not too sure how i feel about this yet but that’s a story for another day.

But for me, as this 2nd comes to an end, I can’t help but feel the building up of hope within because, in my opinion, the new year has finally begun, and with it the beginning of a new day, new year, a new season. HAPPY 2012!

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